"Hi, my name's Blumquist Hellzapoppin, y'all. You may know me from the Blah Channel's quiz show 'Loss Of Face' or Humma TV's 'Indignity Rules' and, if you don't, where the flip have you been?!"
"Last year, as you should know, I took part in the hugely viewed bizarre endurance show, 'Wingnut Fortitude', and came a highly respectable seventh overall - although you'll do well to remember my barnstorming second place in the 'gravel-in-face-whilst-eating-your-own-chods' round."
"Anyway, I was wondering if anyone here could lend me twelve pounds for a taxi to the hospital as I urgently need to get to my badly injured three-year-old daughter's bedside. Oh please, please, you're my only hope, she's crying tears of real blood for me and I only live round the corner - actually I've just moved in, you've maybe not seen me yet (apart from on the telly), but I've seen you many times already, looking all helpful and upstanding, oh please, Christ, please! I swear I'll get it back to you on friday!?"
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1 comment:
love this one...FUNNY :-)
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